hi, i’m sans – welcome to baelov.8 💌

hey there, it’s Sanskruti

I'm an 18-year-old just done with my high school, crazy shit right!!

Even typing that feels strange. The thought of growing up scares me cause my brain still thinks I'm some 12-year-old sitting in class daydreaming abt a different me in the future (my ideal future self). But UK, what, I'm learning to accept that I still don't know exactly how that version of me appears. I aspire to be a doctor someday, but the reality is that this is not an easy path for me. It is simultaneously frightening, overpowering, thrilling, and perplexing. And to be honest, that's what this blog is for.

💌 About me

So one thing abt me is that I have an attention span of a gold fish and the patience level of a toddler, so it really annoys me when I read something and it's in a long ass paragraph. I would write most of the things in Pointers for my blog!

🤰 I was born in 2007, and I live in Mumbai 

💢Right now, I’m knee-deep in what I call my “getting a good college” era.

🍓I have a younger sister who definitely keeps things interesting around.

🌱I think I'm highly emotionally intelligent.

I LOVEEEE Taylor Swift.

🪭I'm not fond of pets like dogs and cats, but not like I would hurt them either, but ehh..

🌊I love the ocean and the beaches.

ig that's all for today 

💭WHY DOES THIS BLOG EVEN EXIST 

I started writing because I wanted to engage with my thoughts more. No pressure, just some good old journaling, cause I have tried writing a personal journal - didn't work -so I'm here. I want to write this and find out who I actually am. What do I actually like? I want to learn about myself, and I hope the blog will help me keep an account of it. I hope to become the cool independent "baddie" Didi I looked up to as a kid. The one who knows themselves and is on top of it all.

This blog is abt knowing myself, not just at a superficial level but at a deeper level. I want to look back one day and say, "WOW, I was already something pretty amazing."

See you guys at the next one

You can add any suggestions and thoughts in the comments a let me know.

Bye, xoxo - sans.💋

Turning 18 (wtf 👹👹👹)

 Turing 18 is like being reborn in life, you stop going to a place that you used to go for 12 years straight, had a fixed routine, had someone to constantly tell u what u should be doing. You lose control of your life.

These are the exact thoughts and feelings I've been facing being a fresh 18-year-old. idk why my brain isn't processing the fact that I'm not a 12-year-old anymore and I need to change a few things abt myself and ik for a fact that everything that I'm feeling rn isn't new, isn't original, everyone has felt this so what made me so fucked up?!

well, hi im sanskruti and im from mumbai born in 2007. I turned 13 when COVID was on the rise, and we were all stuck in a lockdown. Life felt miserable cause puberty just hit me, and wtf was that. I had a little idea about it through school biology classes, but I wasn't sure exactly what it was. WHAT WAS I EXACTLY FEELING STUCK IN THOSE 4 WALLS OF MY ROOM, WHERE THE ONLY MOVEMENT OF MY BODY WAS TO USE THE WASHROOM AND TO GET MY FOOD FROM THE KITCHEN? 

Damn man, wtf was i actually doing back then but thats not the point. The point is - lockdown was my cannon event. It made me more introverted than I was. It led me to have no friends in school, literally zero friends, ok lore time, but a year before covid i shifted to new school and they kids there never really spoke well with me so i make only one friend and she was new too and guess what?!?! she left the school during online school. SO LIFE WAS A LIVING HELL FOR ME WHEN I THOUGHT ABT OFFLINE SCHOOL. But it didn't bother me for a while cause school had been online for 2 years, so I was chill in my room rotting in front of the Zoom meeting where zero info went in my head, and basically, u can say I have skipped my 8th and 9th grade. AND WHEN 10TH GRADE CAME I HAD OFFLINE SCHOOL AND BY THE THOUGHT OF IT I SHAT MY PANTS.